Despite recognition, achievements, and success, some creatives and performers just don’t seem to feel happy or complete in their work. They feel disconnected with what they create or perform. They’re left in a space of emptiness and loneliness, always in searching for something… Sometimes they don’t even know what is it that they are looking for. They just know something is missing in a profound way. A sense of “I don’t feel at home,” “I don’t feel myself,” or “I feel empty and disconnected” follows them around. This feeling of disconnection and emptiness doesn’t seem to go away. It keeps coming back.
Who are these creatives who are always searching or longing for something they don’t seem to find? There is the actor who wants to be a writer, the musician who wants to write their own songs, the comedian who wants to experiment with drama…
Do you recognize yourself? Are you the creative or the performer in search of your voice? What it is it that you are really searching for?
This longing isn’t only about wanting to try something new or different, wanting to reinvent yourself, or experimenting with multiple talents. True creatives have multiple talents…. They continue to evolve and always find new ways of expressing themselves. To have such fertile creativity is indeed special. These creatives don’t feel disconnected or empty. They actually feel fulfilled, connected, and prolific.
Instead, I am talking about the persistent sense of feeling unhappy, discontented, or unfulfilled with how you manifest your creative or performing energy. Somehow, that actor, musician, writer just doesn’t feel like you and you constantly feel empty, disconnected, and unmotivated… Perhaps you even feel depressed, lonely, and flooded with anxieties.
This sense of disconnection, although it becomes most apparent in your creative life, is actually much deeper than your relationship to your art itself. In truth, it’s bringing to light something deep within you that is unhealed and is keeping you from being YOU.
This is how it feels when you find your voice.
When you find your voice, nothing else matters. No doubts, no insecurities, no fears interfere with that voice. There is no waiting for the right moment. You don’t need anyone’s permission… You are that voice, and it feels so normal to be that voice that you don’t even notice how it flows. It just does. You just are… When it comes out, it is clean, loud, and clear. There is no question about being confident or right. You just are. It does not mean that you don’t have fears, insecurities, or doubt. We all do. It just means that they are not interfering with you being YOU.
This is your unique you coming out in your unique way. YOU. No one is like you and you cannot be anyone else but you. Acting, writing, singing, dancing …. no matter what you create it is YOU. Like a shining beam, the core of who you are comes right through your art. This is why the same song sounds different with each and every singer. Or why the acting, the writing, or the dancing is never the same … they may tell the same story but the unique voice changes how it’s told in such a profound way.
You’re never more alive than when that art you express or you create is YOU. You with all the oddities, eccentricities, or particularities that makes you YOU – it comes through all that you manifest. The more you lean into who you are and connect to all the shades of who you are, the more space you have to be YOU. When you are your own voice, then you are most alive, most touching, most able to connect and be heard.
When you find your voice, your life energy, passions, and desires emerge. At the same time you are in touch with your fears, insecurities, and doubts with human vulnerability and strength.
When you are at one with your voice, that is when you find the audience that you are supposed to speak to. When you are your voice, that is when you assert what is right for you. When you find your voice that is when you are empowered to say “no” to what doesn’t serve you.
You know you’ve found your voice when you feel real, connected, and strong. You are in your own shoes, walking your own walk with all your heart. You don’t need courage to be. You are. You don’t need permission to be. You are. You don’t need to think how to be. You are.
I have worked with creatives and performers who’d been stuck in that searching and longing and who found their voice right there, in front of me…. Yes, it is a surreal and powerful experience. These are life moments when I’ve heard people saying things like: “When my anxiety lifted away, I started to say all these things I’ve always wanted to say.” Or, “the pain in my chest broke into million pieces and my music came out with me in it.” Or, “the ball of doubts disappeared and I just wanted to write… my words just followed.”
So, what about YOU? Are you connected to your creative voice? If you answer is “no” or “I’m not sure” please know that you can heal and let go of whatever is holding back your creative voice. Psychotherapy can help you build a creative career that represents YOU.
Read more about accessing your creative voice on my Creative Blocks & Creativity page.
I am Mihaela Ivan Holtz, Doctor in Clinical Psychology working with creatives and performers. I help creatives and performers with their life struggles, depression, anxiety, performance anxiety, creativity, relationships and love, PTSD, and addictions. And, to become their own best version.
160 South Lasky Drive
Beverly Hills, 90210