Sad female alone holding her face on her knees.As human beings, we have an emotional need to be seen, heard, connected. When those needs aren’t met or are neglected, you can experience a fear of abandonment. 

Many times, this fear stems from childhood. If your needs weren’t met as a child by your parents or those who were supposed to care for you, feelings of abandonment can start early on. 

Unfortunately, those feelings can linger into adulthood and affect your current relationships, your drive to accomplish, and creative ambitions. A fear of abandonment can lead to trust issues, feelings of insecurity, and it impacts your emotional intimacy.  All of which can hinder the flow of creativity you need to express yourself fully. It disconnects you from your sense of agency. 

When feeling abandoned is triggered, it can keep you feeling isolated, unproductive, and unable to access your inspiration and creative energy. 

You may find that your personal fear of abandonment feeds fear of rejection in your intimate connections and also your professional endeavors. Thankfully, you don’t have to live with that crippling fear  forever. EMDR can help you ease your abandonment fears so you can feel more in control of your relationships, in your personal and in your career. 

Let’s find out how. 

Is EMDR Therapy Necessary? 

Some type of therapy is almost always necessary to resolve a fear of abandonment. Therapy helps people struggling with that fear to dive into the root cause of it. It can encourage you to take a look at past events or circumstances to understand where the abandonment issues simmer. However EMDR therapy weaved in with a relational treatment approach – based on the neurobiology of relationships – is quite powerful in treating abandonment trauma. Sad boy alone

That’s not always easy, of course. But, with EMDR, it’s not necessary to work and re-work your way through the memories that frighten or wound you. With support, you can isolate the root issues and memories that stimulate the fear of being left behind or neglected. You release the or at least minimize your fear and its control on your personal expression and forward movement. 

Therapy can help you see and feel  your mind-body responses to abandonment; and, with EMDR start letting for of such trapped emotions of not good enough for love, attention, and for emotional interest from others. 

How Can EMDR Help?

While there are several types of therapy options to consider if you have a fear of abandonment, EMDR has become one of the most popular due to its proven effectiveness. 

EMDR is often used to help people deal with different types of trauma. While you may not initially think of a fear of abandonment as trauma, it has many similar characteristics, especially if the fear stems from childhood. 

If you were abandoned in your past, you might be holding onto that loss and anxiety. By carrying it with you into adulthood, it could be affecting you and impacting your life in negative ways you don’t even realize.  

How Does it Work for Abandonment? 

EMDR is a therapy, using the rapid, rhythmic movements of your eyes, that will help you to reduce or eliminate the power of the traumatic event(s). You can let go of the anger, frustration, resentment, and the sadness and all the tears of feeling unimportant enough to deserve love, emotional interest, or care.  

Man portrait alone When you’re going through an EMDR session, you will reconnect to the situations that caused the fear of abandonment in the current emotional safety of attuned therapeutic relationships. 

That emotional reconnection will allow you to shift from images, self-thoughts, and even body sensations of abandonment to feeling more connected and grounded in your own self as an adult – the place where you can develop authentic connection with others.

EMDR works by reprocessing your memories that link to past abandonment and  disappointment in your relationships. Thereby, you are able to break unhealthy emotional cycles to more genuine personal and professional relationships. 

You can shift emotionally to loving yourself, being more attuned to yourself, and valuing yourself. This will result in a more fulfilling, creative, and productive life. 

Is EMDR Right for You? 

The important thing about EMDR therapy is that your brain’s natural healing powers are doing the work. It will access your innate propensity for healing and growth.  Female dancer jumping in the air -emotional freedom concept

You’ll feel emotionally free from old abandonment feelings. You can be more connected to your inner emotional life, your sense of agency, and creativity. Therefore your can experience more authentic and fulfilling connection to others. You will be more in control of creating your life. 

EMDR is a powerful and effective psychotherapy approach to heal a fear of abandonment, especially if that stemmed from childhood or a traumatic relationship or break up.

If you want to learn more about EMDR trauma treatment, you can read more in my EMDR Therapy Page. 

If you are interested in EMDR therapy please contact me for your free 15-20min free consultation, to see if this therapy is appropriate for you.

I am Mihaela Ivan Holtz, Doctor in Clinical Psychology. My specialties are emotional trauma expressed through depression, anxiety, performance anxiety, creativity, relationships and love, PTSD, and addictions – to become their own best version.  I am also specialized in working with creatives and performers – you can read more about Therapy for Creatives here.


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