Are Relationship Issues Making It Hard To Balance Your Creative And Personal Life?
by Mihaela Ivan Holtz, Psy.D., LMFT
Are you trying to advance your career but find that relationship issues are interfering with your confidence, creativity or ability to connect with your audience? Are you struggling to find the right connections in your personal and professional life that will help you develop yourself further as a performer or artist?
Maybe you feel isolated or lonely in your personal life because you haven’t been able to have connections that foster and support your inspiration and passion. Or perhaps you’ve suffered emotional trauma in the past that is affecting your current relationships and performance. You may find yourself being overly demanding or even hurting others like your partner, family, friends or crew members because you don’t know how to manage negative emotions effectively. Or maybe you believe that the difficulty relating to others is part of what has made you so successful, and you worry that working on yourself will mean losing your drive or creativity.
On the other hand, you may not understand why it’s so difficult for you to get or maintain healthy relationships that complement your creative passion and priorities. The physical and emotional demands of being a performer are not easy. And if you don’t have the right skills to manage your relationships—at home, at work, with yourself, and with your audience—you can easily fall into depression, addiction or patterns of abusive behavior.
Do you wish you knew how to find and maintain healthier, more supportive relationships that enhance your creativity and allow you to feel fulfilled and happy? Are you ready to work on the relationship issues that are holding you back so that your creative self can flourish and grow?
Juggling Healthy Relationships And A Demanding Creative Life Can Be Exhausting
It’s common for performers, artists and other creatives to struggle to maintain healthy personal and professional relationships. The demands of traveling, long hours of creating, rehearsing or performing, and the fact that your creative passion will always be a high priority (if not your top priority) can all interfere with your relationships.
It may seem like those close to you don’t understand the demands your career places on you, and every minute you spend working on the relationship is time and energy that you can’t spend working on your craft. Even when your relationships with friends, family and your partner are going well, you may wonder if they’re with you because they really care about you, or if it’s just because of your success.
In an effort to focus on your creativity, you may avoid forming new relationships in your personal or professional life. Or maybe you have stopped putting energy into current relationships or self-care, accepting that any difficulties are justified because unhealthy relationships are “part of being an artist.”
The truth is that unhealthy relationships can interfere with your ability to be creative, perform or connect with your audience, and fully develop your craft. And while you might know that being successful as an artist, author, actor or performer requires support from other people—your agent, family, friends, crew, etc.—you can’t seem to find a balance between your creative passion and your desire to connect in a meaningful way with yourself and others.
Fortunately, there’s a specialized form of therapy unique to artists and performers that can help you heal from past traumas or current relationship problems so you can live a healthy, happier life on and off stage.
Relationship Therapy Can Help Improve Emotional Health So You Can Live Your Best Creative Life
Whether you are just starting out or you have already achieved some degree of success, relationship difficulties and past emotional trauma can leave you feeling disconnected and stuck in place. Relationship therapy offers a safe space where you can feel comfortable sharing your needs and goals without fear of judgment or criticism. Together, we’ll bring to light how relationships issues may be interfering with you having access to your genuine artistic self and take steps to become the person and performer you aspire to be.
During our first sessions, my focus will be on developing an open, honest relationship with you. By taking time to get to know you and the ways relationship problems are affecting your creativity and happiness, I can tailor my approach to your specific needs and goals. For example, if you are struggling to articulate your needs to family, friends, partner or crew, we’ll practice communication skills and techniques that you can use on a daily basis. Additionally, we’ll take time to explore the root of the original emotional trauma that is affecting your relationships so you can work toward lasting healing and change. You can learn to recognize self-sabotaging patterns and replace them with relationship interactions that promote genuine connection to yourself, your partner, your art and the audience. And this will help you create healthier and more authentic connections that will allow you to grow as a performer or artist.
Throughout our work together, I draw from a range of scientifically supported approaches that have been shown to help people understand and overcome relationship issues. My psychoanalytic training helps bring repressed feelings and conflicts to the conscious mind where you can emotionally recognize the role they play in your life and begin to shift toward healthier connections. And by incorporating neuropsychology for relationships, you can foster patterns of communication that further support your connection to yourself, your creativity, and others. The very essence of your connections is in the communication—it’s what connects you authentically to yourself, your art, audience, and those that support your artistic journey.
If we discover past emotional trauma, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is very effective in processing those experiences, so you can live, connect, and create with emotional freedom. While living in trauma can feel like fears and doubts are taking over or causing you to feel stuck, emotional freedom connects your strengths, talents, and skills despite your fears, doubts, or other difficult feelings.
To help you expand your access and tolerance to your feelings, I may also introduce mindfulness. Mindfulness practice can help you acknowledge and be with your beautiful or challenging feelings moment-by-moment with a sense of calm and presence. You, the artist, need your feelings to create art that touches and speaks to your audience. And with CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), you can further replace harmful thoughts with beliefs that generate growth and self-confidence.
I’ve been working with people in the creative industry since my doctoral internships, and now it’s my niche. In all these years, I’ve learned that a healthy connection with yourself and others starts with experiencing emotional healing and freedom from old trauma. Relationship therapy can help you to create the connections that support your creativity and allow you to live a more fulfilling artistic or personal life.
Relationship psychotherapy is a dance between past and present. With one foot in the past and one in the present, you can start creating your own new beautiful steps, now in the present—to experience more genuine and fulfilling connections in your life and art.
You May Have Some Concerns About Working With A Relationship Therapist…
I know I need support, but I don’t want to change who I am or how I work.
It’s normal to have concerns about others not understanding your creative life. And the fear that you will be misunderstood for your passion or told to “tone it down” can keep you from getting the support you need. I’ve worked with performers and artists for years and I understand your creativity is an essential part of who you are. Therapy has to support and enhance your creativity. Seeing a relationship therapist is not about interfering with your artistic life. It’s about healing emotional trauma and having freedom from old triggers so you can enhance your life and career.
I’m still trying to develop my career, I’m not sure I can afford the sessions or have time to attend.
It’s normal to invest in coaches and resources to develop and promote your talents, and the thought of spending additional time and money on therapy can seem like too much to handle. However, you may not realize that past emotional traumas are keeping you from feeling fulfilled in your personal life and career. By investing in therapy, you can break free from what’s keeping you stuck and feel better about yourself, your career and your relationships.
I’m worried about what others may think about me if they find out I’m going to therapy.
Therapy is a safe, private place where you will be accepted as you are. It allows you to reach that part of yourself that needs help without the fear of judgment you may experience when talking to friends, family or your peers. I understand you’re in the public eye and perhaps under intense scrutiny, and it’s important to have a space where you can open up and truly be yourself. Therapy can be a key part of healing and personal growth, and the only people who will know you are in therapy are those you choose to tell.
You Can Feel More Connected To Yourself, Your Art And The People In Your Life
If you’re ready to have more supportive, healthy and authentic relationships that enhance your life and creative career, I invite you to contact me at 310-424-0292 for a free 15-minute consultation by phone.
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